So, you’ve decided to take on a triathlon. You’ve trained, you’ve bought some snazzy gear, and you’re ready to race. But before you get that shiny medal at the finish line, here are a few mistakes I’ve made in my first Triathlons, because let’s be real — triathlons are tricky, and the first time is always a comedy show. So enjoy my mistakes and don’t make them yourself.
1. The Swim: “I’m Definitely Not Going to Freak Out”
I stepped into the water, full of confidence. I’d done a few laps at the pool, so how hard can this be? About five minutes in, I was desperately trying to remember how to breathe, while avoiding drowning, being kicked by someone in the face, and wondering if there’s a lifeguard on standby. But the worse happened upon exit, 750m long meters later. I reached the jetty got onto all fours and then stood up, a marshal there to assist, as I stood, the feeling from going from horizontal to vertical made me dizzy and I stumbled backwards, the marshal swung their arms to grab me, missed, gave a look of “I’m so sorry” as I toppled backwards into the water in more style of vigour than I entered.
2. The Bike: “I Totally Know How to Clip In”
During my first sprint, I’d seen everyone on the TV go with flying mounts, and again my philosophy of “How hard can it be” I clipped my shoes into the pedals in Transition before the swim and set the elastic bands up like I’d seen on GTN. Exiting T1 after the palava of the swim exit still slightly flustered, I got onto the bike fine, but soon realised I couldn’t actually reach my shoes to do them up or get my feet into the from the saddle. So 150m down the road, I pulled over, yanked the shoes off the bike and put them on. I had practiced clipping my shoes into my bike pedals a few times at home, that’s all the preparation I’d need I thought. Fast forward to race day — and there I am, riding in cycling shoes, not clipped in and riding atop the pedals for 5km. Finally I clipped in, the less said about the dismount the better, but I still have the scar!
3. The Run: “I’ve ran this distance before”
After completing the above sprint, I decided to sign up for a Middle distance (as you do) and having learnt a few lessons form swim and bike mistakes, I made it off the bike after my 1,900m swim and 90km bike to start my half marathon. Having done 12 half marathons before, I set off in good spirits and all was going okay for about 10km. Then the weirdest things started happening. My body completely shutting down, things like my big toes spasming every step and scrapping along my shoe, crying because I was going to finish this thing, throwing up out the blue. Turns out, nutrition for efforts over 90 mins is quite important, and a few cocktail sausages and mini eggs hadn’t cut the mustard. A long 11km later I reached the finish line in 6 hours 58 mins and 29 seconds. Proud as punch, never doing one again… Turns out that was a complete lie!
4. Meeting people along the way
On my long distance Triathlons I quite like to meet people and chat as I go round, in my first I rode the whole bike with a lovely chap called Ali and in Roth 2024 I did the majority with a good friend of mine Jeni. But during my first Ironman I met someone in a slightly odd manner. By the time I took on an Ironman I’d made enough mistakes to have a sensible day. But some poor chap doing the 70.3 obviously hadn’t. As an event organising I always tell people please don’t swim backstroke as your hand being in the air looks like you’re asking for help. Well at Ironman Mallorca you do a 2 lap swim, and before you start lap 2 they set off the 70.3 athletes. Some chap around the third buoy of my lap two was clearly struggling. I was shattered by this point with about 700m to go, and swimming forward following feet. My new acquaintance also struggling was doing backstroke. Fast forward 30 seconds and I have mounted him, me facing down him up, he screamed and was stuck under me. I managed to pull him up and push him aside, to turn around to see him now swimming breast stroke. I suspect he’s never made that mistake again!
But I can honestly say Triathlon has given me a life partner, and some of the best friends in the world. It’s a great community of weirdos!
5. The Finish Line: “It’s All Worth It!”
I have had some of the worst experiences during Triathlons, Roth 2022 on the canal in 40 degree heat was up there. Crashing into a swimming pool door rather than exiting through it was a close second and starting Outlaw events at 6am when the water is below what should be legally allowed to swim also a challenge. But, I keep coming back to events. The reason is the finish line. At a finish line the whole day which at times has taken me 15 hours is worth every effort. Roth even made me come back again when I only enjoyed 50 seconds of a 14 hour race. I’m also a sucker for a pretty medal.
So, to all the first-timers, welcome to the club. It’s going to hurt. It’s going to be weird. But mostly, it’s going to be one of the most ridiculously fun things you’ll ever do. And next time? You’ll at least know what not to do from the first time.
Good luck, and don’t forget to hydrate… and maybe practice clipping in a few more times.
James Mitchell- Team Manager